92% of American adults say they prefer to date people who've been to therapy, survey shows

Deal breakers in dating are typically tied to core values like marriage and children. But now whether or not you've been to therapy may be just as important.

92% of American adults say they prefer to date people who've been to therapy, survey shows

Most common deal breakers are opinions about marriage and children. But there are some things that can be a deal breaker.

recent survey

Has found a new warning sign: not going to therapist.

In September, dating app Pure surveyed 1,000 Americans of all sexualities and ethnicities. The study found that the majority of people were looking for partners with a history of mental health professionals or who are currently working with one.

The September survey revealed that 92% of respondents said they preferred to date someone who has been in therapy.

Pure's research found that seven in ten singles feel comfortable talking about mental health on a first date. Meanwhile, 50% of respondents said it was attractive to bring up therapy during the conversation.

For many, the urge for dating someone who has undergone therapy stems from their past experiences. Pure reported that 23% of respondents were certain that people who had been in therapy are less likely than others to engage in strange or unsettling behaviors such as ghosting.


What you can expect to find out

Theraputic sessions give us the tools to work through our issues and make us more aware of our own emotions.


For 63% of men, dates are a way to become "a better version of yourself" -- for the other person it can be like a therapeutic session

Esther Perel, a psychotherapist, sees both pros and cons in this new reality. In an interview with

Vanity Fair

She explained that the move to greater transparency regarding emotional health, and the benefits offered by counseling has created an environment where people are able to develop a better sense of self and place more importance on self-reflection.

Perel explained that "there is something about bringing clarity and understanding" to issues people have been struggling with for years, often in solitude.

Some people may hide behind a wall at the same time.

"therapy speak"

She added that people can also use it as a way to push other people away.

She gave an illustration of how that could look. Perel told Perel, "I don’t like what I do so I call you gaslighting." "You have an opinion that is different from mine, so I use a phrase to make it impossible for us to talk." I can avoid you by labeling.

It is important to note that while some people gain valuable insight and assistance from working with a professional in mental health, others may only get buzzwords.

Pure's website suggests that you should be open to the possibility of a partner who is good but has not been through counseling. Don't think you are a walking warning sign just because you've never been evaluated.

Pure says that if you have never felt like you needed therapy, then you are either not ready or it is not right for you. Your romantic prospects will probably be fine.

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